It can be hard to be a Christian in the band, especially since it's in a public school. Some have decided to be a "secret Christian," which isn't very holy of them, but they're still a witness because they know all the loopholes in the system, and leave little hints and clues all over the place.
Are you an expert at this? How secret and yet Christian can you be?
The Official Guide To Being Secret Christians In The Band
1.You perk up when Stryper music is handed out: +1
2. You don't know any of the words to the secular pep band music: +1
3. You love Italian composers because of that verse in Acts that says Cornelius was in the Italian Band: +5
4. You prefer playing in 3/4 because three is holier than four: +3
5. You say things like "Adonai is my qodesh": +10
6. You really love the songs from "Fiddler on the Roof":+2
7. You're always requesting things like Haydn's "Creation" and Handel's "Messiah": +5
8. You know all the words to them:+8
9. Your instrument case has Psalm 1119 inscribed into it:+9
10. It's in Hebrew: +15
11. You play the ram's horn: +10
12. You spontaneously yell, "It's the Rapture!" when you hear the trumpets: +10
69: You're the holiest of the holy. You probably play your instrument with a Greek accent.
50-68: Pretty good, but you probably need to memorize more scripture from the life of Elijah. That guy was like the James Bond of prophets.
30-50: Eh, you're ok, but some people are catching on. You need to stop yelling "Hallelujah!" all the time.
15-30: Not good. Your Christian shirt that says, "Hello, I am a Christian," doesn't leave much doubt about who you are.
0-15: Well! Evangelizing, are you?
(I got this idea from the post "Rooting for the secret Christians on American Idol" on Jon Acuff's Stuff Christians Like, which you really should be reading instead of this blog.)
Thou crackest me up!
ReplyDeletePsalm 1119, aye?
ReplyDelete