#42 The evilness of keyboards.

For those of you who haven't been playing the piano for 10+ years, there's a definite difference between pianos and keyboards.
In fact, there's a huge, gigantic, canyon-like difference.
One is an instrument.
One is...well, not an instrument.
Therefore, I bring to you today the:

Official Test of Keyboard Experience

If you have ever tried to play loudly on a keyboard, and it didn't work +2 points

If you have ever tried to play softly on a keyboard, and it didn't work +2 points

If you've ever tried to play anything longer than a quarter note, and it didn't work +4 points

If you've ever played a song that has a glissando at the end that goes all the way to the top key and then when you played it for the keyboard on the first time you find out that it doesn't actually have 88 keys so you have to improvise the ending +8 points

You won first in the competition anyway -5 points

You've started playing a quick passage, and the MC had to come hold the keyboard steady because it was rocking back and forth +5

You've wondered why, if they're not going put 88 keys on there, they won't make it go from F to F, instead of from C to C +15 points

You've played Classical or Baroque especially on a keyboard and justified it to yourself by saying it was "historically informed performance," when it's really not +8 points

How did you score?