#26 There would be a giant painting of John Phillip Sousa.

John Phillip Sousa was one of the awesomest people to ever be John Phillip Sousa. (Were there more than one? Why don't you look that up.)
He wrote "Stars and Stripes Forever."
He invented the sousaphone.
He should have called it the "johnaphone." Actually, maybe it's a good thing he didn't. There brings a picture of someone playing an instrument resembling a toilet to my mind.
In my band room, there will be a giant painting of this guy.
After all, we have a lot in common.
We're both named John.
Both of our middle names are Jehoshaphat. (What? You think it was Phillip? Crazy talk.)
I'll probably be the one to do the painting.
But what's that you say?
I can't paint?
I've only ever heard one song by Sousa?
I don't even know what Sousa looked like?
I almost automatically reject music if it was written between 1827 and 2000?
Crazy talk.